Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize