yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
