dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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