The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
