i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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