I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
