I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
