we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
