R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
