How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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