I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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