that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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