i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
