I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
