You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
