So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
