Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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