She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
