His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
