Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
