Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
