First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize