New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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