They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
