he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Help. Why am I so naked?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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