I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
