can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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