Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i love accidental penises.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
