is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
