M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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