Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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