i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
