we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
