No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
