I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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