Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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