Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
