Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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