Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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