I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
