I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize