Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
