i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
