Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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