im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
