dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
