part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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