I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize