Just cropdusted the office
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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