My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
