Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize