I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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