I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
