i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
