How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
