vagina is talking i cant
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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