if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
