you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Boobs are out for the taking
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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