Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
