Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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